By George!


Women's Magazines

Looking through last month's edition of Chat, Beauty & Health (CBH) I notice that several pages were given over to an 'exclusive' story concerning a young man who had been a contestant on the X Factor variety show. Apparently the young man in question had his dreams of becomming a singing star crushed after a tragic mishap at a private health clinic. This unfortunate young man had engaged an agent to help 'steer him along the road to fame'. Based on advice from his agent this young man booked himself into a very expensive private clinic where he was to undergo a course of colonic irrigation. His agent had managed to convince him that colonic irrigation would improve his singing ability, "by getting rid of toxins, you will get greater blood flow to your lungs, this means that your singing voice will be a lot stronger." It was during his third session of colonic irrigation that an awful incident occured, the young women who was acting as CIT (Colonic Irrigation Techician) had failed to maintain correct pressure in the equipment. She had been absorbed in playing with her virtual pet, an electronic Dalmation named Tony. It has since transpired that the young woman in charge of the machine had not received proper training, was of low intelligence, in fact she was an imbecile. The pressure in the machine was such that it caused severe damage to the victims bowels. This mishap has meant that far from helping to achieve a powerful singing voice, colonic irrigation has left the young entertainer incapable of coherent speech. He can now only produce rather obscene gurgling noises. Unbeknown to the young man each session was secretly filmed for inclusion in the televison programme The Spa of Embarassing Ilnesses, the filming had been arranged by his unscroupulous agent who happens to be a close friend of the producer of the programme . Each session of colonic irrigation cost £297, the same results could be obtained more cheaply and with a far greater degree of safety by performing the procedure oneself. Two pints of liquid parrafin would cost 19s 7d, a 6ft length of rubber hose 3s 4d, a funnel 1s 3d, a total cost of 25s 2d. There are a number of important points to consider in relation to this story. Had this young man been a member of the upper class I expect he would not have suffered this dreadful experience. It is very likely that the operative in charge of the procedure would have been trained to the highest level had the patient come from the upper classes, because the patient spoke with a working class accent he immediately became the victim of snobbery and class predjudice. I fail to see how a television broadcast of an individual being administered an enema can serve any useful purpose, beyond satisfying some perverted need within the viewing public, or a rather squalid desire for fame and money on behalf of the subject/victim. If working people are in need of medical treatment for bowel disorders then surely the NHS should provide the treatment? In his pamphlet Facillitating the Internal Health of the Proletariat, published by the I.L.P.S.P (June 1937), O.V Stein describes his idea of a modern clinic where working people could receive medical treatment of the highest standard in surroundings that would maintain their dignity and modesty.

"On entering the clinic patients would be directed to one of a number of booths in which they would change out of their working clothes into a hygenic paper gown. Human intervention is kept to a minimum, as the procedure is highly mechanised. A machine using the latest in materials and technology would safely deliver the procedure,... Expelled waste matter would be piped through a series of devices whereby energy is extracted, and so could be used to power the merry-go-round in the children's play area".

Orwell Cig

Review of Poltergeists by Sacheverell Sitwell

Horizon, September 1940

To judge from the newspapers, poltergeists appear fairly frequently but seldom get a thorough investigation, becuase they will not, as a rule, 'perform' in the presence of strangers. But there are quite enough authenticated cases--Mr. sitwell gives detailed accounts of four of the best-known, but there is a number of others--to suggest that the poltergeist is not imaginary in the ordinary sense of the word.
These cases are almost always very much alike. They consist of a series of evil-minded and frightening practical jokes, often with an undercurrent of obscenity. Crockery is smashed, objects fly through the air in an inexplicable manner, there are rapping noises and somtimes tremendous explosions and the violent ringing of bells.